I didn’t quite expect that I’ll be able to talk/chat with you again. During our YM conversation, the only words that I was able to say were: “Hi”, “how are you”, “I’m okay”, and “what are you up to lately” (it seems like teaching a grade 1 student the Basic Communication skills). I want to tell you many things. Most importantly, I wanted to tell you this (by the way, I should have told you this 3 years ago):
Remember my blog entries before. (FYI, I deleted my livejournal account already because it was very “love mode”. And you know me, I hate talking about my lovelife… as if theres any. I’m too young, immature, and crazy that time, that’s why I was able to write those mushy, cheesy, and heartbreak thoughts. Ick.). Those entries are about you. I liked you a lot. You’re very special to me that time (and I guess you’re not dumb to figure out that this isn’t about the brotherly-sisterly-kind-of-special feeling)
I regret that you have to know it from other people. That time, I don’t have the courage to be honest and tell you what I really feel. Because I know what you feel for me right from the start, I’m your baby right? Your baby sister. I also don’t want to see you feeling sorry for me (for not feeling the same way, the sorry-you’re-like-a-sister-to-me-kind-of-ekek). I don’t need it.
Now, I’m not saying this to beg for your love. I won’t beg for it. I’m over you. (And I believe that you’re not that feelingero to assume that I still have special feelings for you.) I guess I just miss you. And I just want to be honest with you, and to let go all the “what-ifs” that I have. I think, we’ll just laugh at this when we see each other again and talk about this. I hope to see you soon.
P.S. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakain ko at naisipan kong magsulat ng ganito. Hahaha
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